Bitter sweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong

I'd rather endure regretting not saying something.. than the painful remorse of the spoken words doomed to float in memories forever.

Hawley Labial Bow

Firm grip on the 139 pliers, careful not to pinch yourself.
*****
He was determined to win the race.. to impress and to defeat..he wanted more than anything to prove them all wrong.. he'll show them.
Ironic how neglect can actually give birth to ambition.
*****
Curve the wire slightly so it adapts to the labial surfaces of the maxillary incisors, not too tight though.
*****
The look in her eyes was taunting, her lips never spoke ill of her condition but I could see them quaver as the doctor announced that it was time for her chemo. session.
An unwelcome guest in a beautiful home.
*****
Turn the wire gingivally as you approach the canine, but don't extend it too far from the gingival margin then turn it occlusally making a small U-turn.
*****
She was fuming with anger, everytime this topic comes up in a conversation she tries her utmost to get it through their thick skulls: It doesn't matter which region you come from in Saudi Arabia, your self-worth is the same, your value doesn't change regardless your genetic composition.
Sighing with disgust at how obscene people can be, she leaves the room.
*****
Bend the wire over the embrasure between the canine and the premolar, be judicious so it doesn't interfere with the occlusal plane.
*****
An hour of moderate rain can catastrophically damage one of the country's largest cities, lives were lost and memories were scarred.
A five year old had always lived to believe rain was a precursor of blossoming flowers, now rain has become the murderer of her best-friend's father.
*****
It's time for the tricky C-Clasp, take heed to start at the mesial line angle of the molar.
*****
The bellowing music fills the room, Filipino maids carry ridiculously heavy trays with strained smiles, brightly sequined dresses flashing on the dance floor.
The scent of jasmine flowers in this Southern Saudi wedding is intoxicating.
*****
After the wire has been adapted on the buccal surface of the molar, gently turn it over the embrasure, again it should be away from the patient's occlusion.
*****
Sitting in a conference room her mobile shines with a message from her son, he just sent her a picture of his new I.D., she smiles for behind that pseudo-mature gaze of an 18 year old,she sees the little boy wearing a thobe and shimagh frollicking with his sisters on the night of Halloween in Minneapolis,MN.
"Trick or Treat!"
*****
Adust the clasp on the hard palate then add the acrylic.
*****
Searching frantically for his grandfather's medication in the drawer, sensing a box-like object he pulls out a tape for Fayrooz from the 80's, taking a glance at his grandpa's religious beard he silently returns the tape to the back of the drawer.
"I couldn't find anything"
"It's in the fourth drawer, you'll find it, the fourth drawer not the fifth"
He brings the medications after making sure the fifth drawer shows no evidence of being tampered with.
*****
Now the retainer is ready to be delivered to its rightful owner...
At least when there are more uncertainties than absolutes in this world, you can be 100% sure of one thing: As long as your patient wears her retainer her teeth won't go back to their protruded position.
One less thing to worry about.

Memories to last a life-time

When I eat a chocolate chip muffin... I remember you.
When I skip while walking down the hall... I remember you.
When I light a scented candle... I remember you.
When I listen to Beyonce... I remember you.

Letting go is hard.. accepting change is harder.
Knowing that from this day on.. nothing will ever be the same..
The comradeship -though deeply cherished- will now have a different meaning.

And yet..
When I watch "The Day after Tomorrow"... I remember you.
When I ride my bike, the wind tickling my scarf... I remember you.
When my eyes tear up from sucking a sour Warheads candy... I remember you.


I found a way to let you in... but I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo.. I got my angel now
~Beyonce

For Good Cause?

I pity the plastic skull on my bookshelf..

It has witnessed many forms of physical abuse under my hands...

Poking wires through the foramens to observe the different paths of the nerves as they exit the cranial vault and pass through the superior orbital fissure and infra-temporal fossa...

Moving the mandible too many times left and right..right and left.. so I can comprehend the difference between Bennet's Angle and his movement.. thank God it doesn't have an articular disc or it would have been completely degenerated by now...

Injecting local anesthesia into the maxilla and mandible from every possible angle.. if there had been real muscles I'd be dealing with bilateral paralysis in both arches...

And the last straw.. practicing extraction.. as if the poor thing hasn't suffered enough.. now I'm hauling out all its teeth...

Ah.. the adventures of a dental student!

Humanity? What's that?

I hate when tradition conflicts with common sense and religion.
When we have to live our lives according to standards set by ancestors who breathed air unpolluted by automobiles, who survived without the kinship of television or the internet

I hate when the thin line separating truth from fraud becomes blurry, so that even with my prescription glasses it's hard to tell which is which

I hate that by growing up it gets easier to discover the gruesome faces behind the gorgeous masks

I hate that when someone smiles at you, you immediately think: "Oh great, I wonder what she wants from me this time", instead of the smile being a mere symbol of kindness

I miss sincerity.
I miss kindred souls.

It just can't get better than this...

The moment that takes your breath away...
Untainted, innocent and pure.

When you're studying for a mid-term and your 6 year old sister kisses you on the cheek -out of the blue- then heads off to grab her Strawberry Shortcake coloring book from the bookshelf.

When your eyes fill with tears as you listen to your Christian Filipino maid announce her Shahada for the first time in the local mosque.

When you gaze from the balcony and see your teenage brother place a bowl of water on the staircase for the chirping pigeons on the patio, in the heat of the never-ending Jeddah summer.

When you're chatting with your best friend reminiscing the good old "high-school" days, the atmosphere in the room filled with warmth defying the bellowing winds of Riyadh's winter outside.

When you pray with devotion to Allah on the night of your General Medicine final exam that you'll do great the next day, the calmness that envelopes you knowing that only He can hear your supplications, however versatile they may be.

When you're awake at that un-earthly hour of dawn, it seems as if the whole city is asleep and all your dreams are achievable, all impossibles are possible.

When you quench your thirst with the cool water of Zamzam after performing Ummrah under the stubborn sunrays at noon.

When you catch the spark of pride in your parents' eyes, no words are even necessary.

These moments I live for.
These moments I cherish.

Perfect..yeah right.

You know that age when you're 12 and you look at college girls and think
"Wow, they know everything"
"They can do everything perfectly"
"Nobody tells them to "Grow up and stop acting like a baby"

Well guess what?

We don't know that much..
And doing something flawlessly is only if it involves a box of ready-made Betty Crocker Brownies..

I gaze at my 12 year old cousin and think
"She can do all the mistakes she wants"
"Nobody tells her that "You should know better, you're a grown-up"