I love you Allah- A7ubak ya Allah

Whenever life closes all its doors in your face and leaves you in an empty room lined by mirrors you start reflecting your life..
your past.. present and future

The room is empty.. not a soul in it but yours..
you can say anything.. do anything.. think anything..

but you don't..
you hold your tongue.. watch your actions.. and cleanse your thoughts..
For Allah is The All Knowing
Allah is The All Hearing
Allah is The All Seeing
He knows what you did.. are doing and intend to do..
He knows if your heart is filled with love for Him or if you're merely going with flow; praying- because everyone else does, fasting- because in Ramadan that's what poeple around you do..
He knows when you're truely being sincere and when you use truth as a ticket to save you from missing the trains of life as they pass by..
HE KNOWS..
So when I'm in a closed room with nothing but my reflection staring back at me where ever I lay my eyes.. I lift my head up and smile..
I'm not alone.. and I NEVER will be

Why do you do what you do??

Who are you trying to prove yourself to?

What makes you keep pushing the waves and climbing the stairs till you can barely catch your breath?

When I study .. the same question keeps popping in my mind..
"Why am I doing this?!?"
"Who am I trying to satisfy?!?"
Myself..?
Motives can be really tricky.. sometimes I'm convinced I want to be successful to prove to myself that "I CAN" yet I also want to prove to the ones that always claim "I CAN'T" how good I really am..
Other times I'm afraid of failure lest my loved ones will lose faith in me..
My ego rises and falls like the stock market..
Half a second can bring me from the peak of happiness to the valleys of despair..

No Pain-Free Life

Every person has a story..
A tale of tears engraved in the slate of their hearts..
Every person has a ghost of sorrow lurking in the tunnels of their eyes..
Every person has a scar..
..whether emotional or phyiscal..

Pain is worldwide...

Shades of Grey...

I guess sometimes you have to see the dark side to confirm you're on the right
being in the gray can be confusing cuz you always want the good of both black and white
knowing that the difference between love and hate is a hair thread and the difference between right and wrong is even less makes you wonder to where does this line extend and when is what we think as right turns out to be wrong or vice versa... who sets the standards..
what is beauty..
what is intellgence..

I look at a flower and wonder if it's purple streaked with white or white streaked with purple.. but who's to tell me which is which??

Why now write a blog<< question to self

I'm doing this blog for ME
Sometimes you need a little space to be anonymous
Sometimes just writing your soul out cools the burning fire inside... even if no one reads.. which is most probably the case
Sometimes you feel like u ARE other times you feel as if you WERE ..
Sometimes you love yourself other times you don't
So this blog is for ME
In all my moods… in all my colors…

I'm a Muslim girl in an Arabic country
Of my identity that's all that's important to know
Plus the obvious…
I'm a left handed dentist -2- be