Out of the Blue...

5:00 p.m. ; sipping a cup of tea with my grandmother as she unravels the tales of her past, I -however- am oblivious of her story and lost in the laughter lines at the corners of her eyes and the dimples that flash suddenly as she speaks.. I wonder how this same face looked like a couple of decades ago.. I wish I could press rewind...

3:00 a.m. ; my cousin and I are standing in the balcony drinking in the uncommon quietness of the atmosphere, each of us lost in her own thoughts.. the plam trees sway magically whispering amoung themselves.. a stray cat searches for his lover..

Once upon a time..

One minute you're a princess.. the next you're not..

Imagination can take you away to so many places but there comes a time when you have to face reality...

The crown in your dream falls with a thud..
The flowing gown is torn into rags..
The glamour vanishes..

And all you're left with is a bucket, a mop and dirty kitchen floors

Small and insignificant

It was a full moon night….
I was staring out my window and the soft winds tickled playfully at my earring hoops..
It dawned on me how many people around the world were also staring at this same moon..
Anybody.. anywhere.. at this same moment just like me…
A waitress in Colorado or a policeman in London..
A salesman in Tokyo or a florist in Paris..
A maid in Kuwait or a guitarist in Toronto..

And all of a sudden I felt very small and insignificant…
Compared to the 6.7692 billion people in the world; I was only 1…
And who cared what a 20 year old Muslim girl felt..
Who knew what this girl's dreams were other than aspiring to be a dentist..
I realized how trivial my existence was to many others… and that the world was larger than my own tiny circle of friends and family… the world was much bigger than my misfortunes or unlucky events...

At this moment as I am typing my post God only knows what is happening all over the world..
A mother could be mourning the loss of her child in Iraq..
A student could be jumping from joy with his acceptance letter to John Hopkin's University..
A teen age girl could be singing S.O.S. with the Jonas Brothers at their concert in Utah…

And yet I still stubbornly hold on to my dreams with all my strength.. and refuse to think of any alternatives if the first doesn't work out.. I still believe the world will end if I get a bad grade or if I don't buy that Fendi watch I've been wanting for so long..
Life goes on whether we like it or not..
The sun will still rise everyday.. and there are some who dread it and some who yearn for its arrival…

So… I have made a promise to myself; NOT to break down any more; because life is larger than me or my silly hardships.. I will remember all those who suffer .. I will put in mind that there are 6.7692 billion people in the world besides me some of which have much worse conditions than I.

And yet satisfaction has not visited my heart

Anticipation can be disappointing ..

You wait for summer to come and as soon as it does all your excitement during exam weeks suddenly evaporates..

All your plans to enjoy the long afternoons and glamorous nights suddenly vanishes..

Maybe it was because during the finals I was silencing my urge to fool around and ignore my studies by promises that I'm now breaking..

Laziness is a deadly chronic disease that we should study rather than asthma attacks..
Energy is the "X" in my pirate map and I'm still following the clues ..

A lawsuit against dentistry

I blame dentistry.... for my lack of sleep and zombie-like appearance,

I blame dentistry.... for turning me into a sociopath that can barely make up a conversation without bring dental topics in the picture,

I blame dentistry.... for stealing me away from my family and loved ones and keeping me hostage in the pages of symbolic textbooks,

I blame dentistry.... for my guilt whenever I go out in a weekend instead of cowering over my lectures and studying,

I blame dentistry.... for all the afternoons I eat my dinner alone after a long day while everyone else had already satisfied their hunger,

I blame dentistry.... for the loss of my sense of humor and the unwanted sarcasm that stings my remarks unintendedly,

I blame dentistry.... for so.. so much,

Maybe I was hypnotized that day I chose to enroll in dental college,
Maybe I was unconscious that cursed hour I chose to be a dentist!

A cup of coffee

Sometimes...
just dropping whatever's in your hand..
whether pharmacology or microbiology..
and taking a break to breathe in the coffee..
,, admire a houseplant..
..or recall a cherished memory..
makes the journey on this hectic dentistry road...

worthwhile

Not in the mood for Oral pathology

I feel guilty for not reading since exams started..
By reading I mean my novels of course..
I can feel the heat of their glares whenever I pass my bookshelf ...

I am sick of every "-ology" there ever was...
Oral Histology can die for all I care...
Oral pathology can burn into ashes...
Oral Radiology can disappear into thin air...

I HAVE LOST MY IDENTITY IN THESE SYMBOLIC TEXTBOOKS